When we think about what parents pass down to their children, we often focus on the obvious things: height, eye colour or perhaps academic ability. But in recent research with Orazio Attanasio (Yale University) and Alessandro Toppeta (Stockholm University), we find that something equally important – and potentially more influential for life success – is also being transmitted across generations: ‘socio-emotional skills’ (Attanasio et al, 2025).
What are socio-emotional skills?
Socio-emotional skills encompass two key areas that shape how children navigate the world:
- Internalising skills: these help children to manage their inner emotional world – their ability to focus, show determination and regulate their feelings. Think of a child who can concentrate on homework despite distractions or who can bounce back from disappointment.
- Externalising skills: these govern how children relate to others – their social abilities, their cooperation and how they express emotions outwardly. They include sharing with friends, following rules and communicating their needs appropriately.
These skills matter enormously. Children with stronger socio-emotional skills tend to perform better academically (as these characteristics interact with cognitive skills), to have healthier relationships and to experience greater success throughout their lives (Almlund et al, 2011).
Lessons from our study
Using data from the 1970 British Cohort Study – which has followed thousands of people from birth into adulthood – we have made several discoveries about how these crucial skills move from one generation to the next.
Our study examines parents who were born in 1970 and their children, comparing socio-emotional skills measured during childhood for both generations, roughly 20 years apart. This approach avoids the complications that arise when comparing adults to children, providing a clearer picture of true intergenerational transmission.
Skills are transmitted specifically
Our research reveals that socio-emotional skills don’t just generally ‘run in families’, but are instead transmitted specifically:
- Parents with strong internalising skills (focus, emotional regulation) tend to have children with similar abilities.
- Parents with strong externalising skills (social abilities, cooperation) pass these skills to their children.
One type of skill in parents doesn’t necessarily predict the other type in children. Even so, cognitive skills tend to ‘predict’ both internalising and externalising skills.
According to our research, there are positive correlations between both externalising and internalising skills across generations. These effects are not quite as high as correlations for income or occupation found in other research, but they are still notable.
Figure 1: Comparison of mobility measures
Source: Attanasio et al, 2025
Mothers lead the way
Perhaps the most striking finding is that mothers play the predominant role in transmitting socio-emotional skills to their children (see Figure 2). While both parents matter, the correlation between mothers’ childhood socio-emotional skills and their children’s skills is significantly stronger and more consistent than the father-child connection.
Figure 2: Impact of parents’ socio-emotional skills on their children’s skills
Source: Attanasio et al, 2025 (columns 1 and 3 in Table 5)
This doesn’t mean that fathers aren’t important. Instead, it suggests that mothers may have more opportunities for the kind of daily interactions that shape emotional and social development. Our research finds that mothers are more likely to engage in activities like daily reading with children and take primary responsibility for care-giving tasks such as looking after sick children.
The timing of measurement matters
One key insight from our work is that the point in time at which skills are measured makes a huge difference. When you compare parents’ skills measured during their own childhood to their children’s skills, the correlations are meaningful but moderate. But if you measure parents’ skills at the same time as their children’s skills (that is, when the parents are adults), the correlations appear much stronger.
This suggests that previous studies may have overestimated skill transmission by measuring parents and children simultaneously, potentially capturing shared environmental factors rather than true inherited tendencies.
Three generations tell a story
In our study we have been able to examine three generations: grandmothers, parents and grandchildren. We find that grandmothers’ emotional difficulties during their adult years are still detectable in their grandchildren’s socio-emotional skills, even after accounting for the middle generation (the parents). This suggests that socio-emotional skills have deep roots that extend beyond just parent-child relationships.
What this means for families
Our findings offer both hope and practical guidance for parents:
- The good news: socio-emotional skills can be developed. Unlike some inherited traits, these abilities are malleable – especially during childhood. While our study does not establish causation, parents who work on their own emotional regulation and social skills may be better positioned to support their children’s development.
- The reality check: family patterns in emotional and social abilities persist across generations. This suggests that children whose parents struggled with these skills may need extra support to develop them.
Beyond the family
While our research highlights the importance of family transmission, it’s important to remember that socio-emotional skills can be influenced by many factors beyond parents:
- Schools can implement social-emotional learning programmes.
- Communities can provide supportive environments for children.
- Targeted interventions can help children who need extra support.
- Policy changes can support families in developing these crucial abilities.
Bigger picture
Our research contributes to a growing understanding that success in life depends on much more than cognitive ability alone. The social and emotional skills that help us to manage stress, work with others and navigate challenges are just as important. They are also being shaped from our earliest years through our family experiences.
For parents, the message isn’t to worry about whether they’re passing down ‘bad’ traits to their children. Instead, it’s to recognise that working on their own emotional regulation and social skills can benefit their children and even their grandchildren.
The family connection in socio-emotional skills is real and powerful. But with awareness and effort, it’s also something that we can influence for the better.
